My Grumpy Billionaire Boss by Natalia Quinn

 

Rating: ⭐⭐

The premise of a fake dating scenario merged with a boss romance offers excellent dramatic potential, but the execution here created significant friction for the reader.

🔄 Structural Issues

The overlapping chapter structure, where the narrative point-of-view (POV) switches characters and subsequently retreads the same timeline, proved detrimental. This technique can feel like narrative backtracking, halting the forward momentum of the plot and leading to a loss of focus on the primary action. To improve reader engagement, consider adopting a strictly sequential timeline with clearly delineated POV chapters, ensuring that each chapter advances the story rather than simply restating prior events from a different perspective.

🎭 Character Development

A core issue lies in the development of the main characters. They were not sufficiently developed initially, making their subsequent actions confusing. Their change over the course of the novel felt less like organic growth and more like an abrupt character substitution. The characters, somewhere in the middle, appear to abandon their established motivations and personalities to suit the immediate needs of the plot. To rectify this, the narrative must clearly establish their core traits, flaws, and motivations at the beginning, and then show a visible, logical evolution rather than a complete transformation.

📉 The Climax & Unresolved Plotlines

The central conflict involving "Dylan" completely collapsed during the climax. What was presented as a significant plot device or emotional hurdle became a non-factor that was never properly addressed. The story concludes without the necessary, honest conversation about Dylan, leaving a major emotional and narrative thread dangling and unresolved. The resolution should explicitly require the characters to confront and discuss the Dylan situation to give the storyline proper weight and closure.